The journey continues. The journey of growth and watching my baby girl change by the day. She is a good healthy 9 lbs 1 as of Thursday when we went for our 6 week check up.. Thrilled! Especially after being such a worrier the first few weeks.. There is nothing in this world like seeing your child thrive..It’s so amazing seeing her hit all these different milestones, and she’s not the only one!
Saturday was the huge milestone for me. I went on my first night out since becoming Mum! It was all very last minute, and as they say, the unplanned ones tend to be the best! But then panic struck.. Suddenly my other half was on the phone organizing the babysitting and I was organizing an overnight bag with my heart in my throat….
One side of me is thinking yes, I want to go out, and I should go out. But the other part of me? Guilt, utter guilt. And a serious realization that the attachment between parent and child is very strong indeed. It was obviously hard on my other half too, but we both just sucked it up and grabbed the chance, especially when we had grandparents more than willing to spend some quality time with baby!
So I kept getting organized, because if I had stopped, she wouldn’t be going anywhere and neither would I. Nanny and Granddad arrive, overnight bag discussed and then I kissed my daughter goodbye for the night. She was gone.
I came back inside with tears filling my eyes. I honestly felt like someone had taken a limb from me. After some comforting and tear drying, it was time to get on with it. Its amazing how lost you feel with no child there. It took me about 5 mins to actually get to the shower, I felt so lost and obviously still in baby mode! No bottles to do, no nappy to change, what is this sorcery?!
A night on the tiles it was. And it was great to let the hair down, but something was telling me I wouldn’t be running for the nightlife anytime soon..
Waking up the next day after a glorious slumber, boom. I get to see my baby again and I cannot WAIT! I was up for about 2 hours before I got her back. It gave me time to shower, have a peaceful coffee. oh and twiddle my thumbs and watch the clock til she was here! I felt like I hadn’t seen her in a week I was that happy! Indescribable!
If that night out taught me anything, it’s that I would choose to cuddle my daughter of a night any day. It’s taken me 6 weeks to go out and leave her overnight (I’d only been away from her for the guts of an hour or two previous to this) and judging by my teary eyes when she left it might have been too soon, but I’m glad I did it. I realize I needed the break, but also that I now positively know that there’s no comparison between the two. I would choose my baby every single time. After all, we’re both going through baby steps.. ❤