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‘What are you crying about?’ A message to the nurse who shamed me after giving birth

Now, don’t get me wrong. There are some fantastic people in this country, nurses and doctors, who literally tick all the right boxes.

Caring, attentive, with a wonderful bedside manner. But unfortunately, in my experience, I have found that it doesn’t count for all of them.

To this day I can’t seem to take myself away from October 2015. Not just because my daughter was born, but because of my treatment in a well-renowned hospital.

I was basically made feel bad about being upset. I had just had a baby and hadn’t slept for two days straight.

In the middle of the night being told I was “lucky to have a beautiful healthy baby” so I had nothing to cry over.

They were right. I was extremely lucky that I had the baby I had longed to hold in my arms, but I felt alone.

Away from the comfort of my safe haven I call home. Away from my partner. Just, alone.

Then the following day being informed my being upset had been talked about and I honestly felt like I was being mocked.

But I just brushed it off, having as little contact with this woman as possible.

This was the same woman who pulled the curtains and left me having skin to skin contact for twenty minutes, which turned into an hour when I had finally gotten my bed, still wobbly on my legs and terrified I would drop my baby as I hobbled over to grab someone’s attention.

There was no apology there either.

So why is it, that even just a visit to a sick elderly relative of mine, that I see the same careless, sarcastic mannerisms?

There is a staff shortage, I know. But it is something that is so important to keep people alive, to help them when they are sick, to care.

In my opinion, if you are going into a caring profession, you must put 100% in, or you just should not be there. Simple as that.

Nurses and doctors have such difficult jobs. It really takes a strong person to go in there and work such long hours and deal with the hardship that comes with it.

But it takes an extra special kind of person to keep going, keep putting a smile on their face, keep others spirits up, and easily say that they love their job. That’s the difference.

If you love your job, it shows. The people I have encountered show otherwise, and if you are going into any job, every day thinking “here we go again”, it’s not worth doing.

We all have bad days, we are all allowed to have bad days, but while you are going home to your family at night, there is an elderly man lying hidden behind a curtain, tears rolling down his cheeks just willing his pain to end.

There is a young Mum who’s just had a baby, looking at this little one she loves so dearly, but can’t see how she’s going to cope, and wonders why she hasn’t found the instinct to make her baby stop crying.

There is a child, who’s life is lived in a hospital. His parents look on as they discuss who’s going to have to go home next, while not even knowing what next week holds.

Remember, you don’t know what anyone in life is going through, so be kind, always.

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4 thoughts on “‘What are you crying about?’ A message to the nurse who shamed me after giving birth”

  1. I’m sorry you had this experience. Yes, you had a healthy baby, and that’s wonderful. But no one has a right to tell you how to feel. Of course it was a stressful and emotional time and your hormones were all over the place. Heck, sometimes we just need a good cry and we haven’t just had a baby! Thank you for sharing. 🙂

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    1. Thank you for commenting Melanie 🙂 And your kind words, yes we all are entitled to cry when we want to! But somehow at the time I even thought I was being stupid, and that I couldn’t say anything. And I’m sure I am not the only one sadly…

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  2. I’m really shocked by this. I’m not a mother myself.. but I think it’s pretty obvious to everyone that even if you have a smooth birth, a healthy baby and no hitches.. that child bird is still draining and traumatic. Your body goes through so much in a short space of time and the hormones rushing around you would bring the hardiest of men to tears if they experienced the same.

    So I’m truly sorry that you were made to feel that way. I personally think it was dangerous because it could have triggered something worse in you.

    A nurse in that department should know exactly why you were crying and even if she didn’t.. have the etiquette and tact to treat you a hell of a lot better.

    Laura ¦ http://www.laurahasablog.co.uk

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    1. Thank you Laura!
      You know what I never really thought about the fact that it could have triggered something worse but you are actually right. It could very well have and could have a partial part to play in such things. I think some people like yourself are shocked because it’s not really talked about, and yet just through this post alone I’ve read enough other stories to realize that it’s not just me!

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