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The shame of the toddler tantrum

 

​The other day, I took a trip to the supermarket, toddler and buggy in tow, to get just a few small things I needed. My daughter and I have come to an arrangement about these trips.

Usually, once I get my basket I let her pull it along from her buggy, in which I’ll normally have her in reverse for this reason, and I get some peace to get around in super timing!

But today was not that day.

The parenting gods were just not in my favour and alas, the basket was just being flayed out in the way of a very busy store, not to mention getting in the way of the big stock trolleys in our path!

I had to make that quick decision of taking away the beloved basket. Then came the tears, then came the tantrum.

Like all of us, I had NO time for this, not one second. But like with most of my toddler’s tantrums, I stay calm, and I also let her have her rage and wait until she’s finished to then intervene and make peace.

But why is it that I feel eyes literally bore into my head from all angles? I can literally see their judgements in words clouding my vision like something out of a Harry Potter film.

It’s a toddler tantrum. It’s not something alien. If your toddler doesn’t throw wobblies, you’re lying.

Stop the judgement, the looks, the stares, there’s just no need.

You don’t know how hard of a day that parent has had. How many tantrums they have already had to deal with and it’s only freaking 1pm!

If you really expect my toddler to be well behaved 24/7 just so you can be away from her tantrum screams, that’s very narrow-minded.

My beautiful daughter is wild, caring, funny, quirky, and fiercely independent. She also has tantrums, which are very normal considering she’s not even two yet.

She has not yet got the words to put together to tell me why she’s angry, so give us a break.

If you wanted to tell someone how you felt but couldn’t get the words to say it, how would you feel?

The next time you are drawn to someone’s explosive episode, just carry on.

If you must look, a smile might just do us the world of good to know that there is no judgement between us and what we feel is the hurricane storm going on in front of us that we constantly feel responsible for.

 

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