It was a Monday morning, and I got up like any other normal day. I had my coffee, had my breakfast.
Then, out of nowhere, standing beside my partner, I felt like I was going to pass out. As he sat me down, I felt woozy, but I put it off to something random and got on with my day.
All was well and forgotten about until the Tuesday night. My little lady stirred and woke me up.
Then that wave of fear arrived. My heart felt like it was skipping a beat, I couldn’t catch a breath, and I was scared.
Luckily again my other half was there and woke up, helped me back into relaxation mode and put on some low music in the background to relax me to sleep.
Wednesday came and I was still getting these weird palpitations, so unlike the usual me, I decided going to get it checked was for the best.
I got all the basic regular checks and then suddenly… “Did you feel that?”. And I did. Another one of my “flutters” had arrived just as the doctor listened to my heart.
I was referred to the hospital that day but unfortunately hours of waiting came to nothing, so it was back to my own regular doctor where I got booked in for bloods and an ECG.
It was another week of uncertainty until I got the answer to my problems – Iron-deficiency Anaemia.
I cannot tell you how much of a relief it was to finally have an answer, to be told to start taking iron tablets right away, that everything else was fine and I was in fact not going to die like I had been dreading for the past couple of weeks.
But that’s exactly how it made me feel. Like I was going to die.
Visions kept running through my head about worst-case scenarios, about my daughter not having her Mama around, how would my other half cope without me by his side. It was all very real.
The more I thought these bad thoughts the more my anxiety flared up, a recipe for disaster.
Your perspective on life really changes up when you become a parent. The thought of leaving your child in this world is the heartbreaking truth for many and I had just prayed I wouldn’t be one of them, as contrary as that sounds.
Looking more into Iron deficiency, I found out that Iron-deficiency Anaemia is the most common form of Anaemia in Ireland, particularly in women resulting in one in every five.
I for one don’t shy away from some lovely Kale in my smoothies, or a beef mince bolognese even if I’m not the biggest red meat lover, but I do try make it a weekly thing, especially since I have a little one to keep nourished and healthy too.
It just so happens that for me, it hasn’t been enough and tablets are the way forward. What is it about Mammies always putting themselves last?
Throughout this ordeal of mine, I’ve come to realise that my health, and mental health, is what matters.
If I can’t look after myself and care for myself, how can I do it to my full potential towards my daughter?
One thing is for sure, take nothing for granted, and take the simple things that matter. Life is for living, not worry, fret and putting yourself last.